Rex has done it again!
I was told in the morning to get dressed up tonight in my new beautiful dress, but with bare feet! Oooo. Sounds exciting! (I hope!!!)
It’s been a gorgeous day here on the island, we swam and sat in the sun most of the day. I dozed off at one stage. Just perfect. No nonsense today. Too many people around even for Rex!
He headed off around lunchtime. Said he had some “things to do.”
“Don’t organise any dinner today Naomi. I’ve got it sorted! Be ready to go around 7.30pm.”
7.30 came and no sign of Rex…. 7.45…8…
Then Bella comes into our bedroom. I’m sitting reading, pretending to be relaxed and patient…
“Grandma. My instructions are to blindfold you and put you into the car.”
“Well you better do it then!”
I sit beside her in the passenger’s seat and see puts a blindfold over me. Now I am a bit worried! She’s only a learner driver, and not that great either. Very fast!
It’s starting to get a bit dark by now. I hang on for dear life! We’re off!!
We seem to be driving forever. The Island’s reasonably large, but NOT THAT LARGE! I think we must have gone around about three times!
“Don’t worry grandma! I’ve got it under control! I have my instructions.”
I’m starting to feel a bit car sick, but luckily we finally stop!
I can hear waves, so I know that we are close to the sea. (Actually, just about everywhere on Waiheke Island is close to the sea!)
I hear the door open, and Bella’s hand takes mine. We step out of the car, and walk on some timber path…
“Where are we dear?”
“Never you mind grandma! By the way, you look stunning! Very sexy!”
Then as we walk, we end up down some steps and on to sand! Weird!
I can hear some music! My favourite music. Celine Dion!
Oops! I almost fall over something… I reach out…it’s a chair or something… Bella sits me down! The she lifts off the blindfold…..
Rex! He’s sitting opposite me at a table! We are on the beach! There’s a LED candelabra in the middle of the table, roses and a bucket with champagne! OMG!
“Happy Valentine’s Day darling!” He hands me a glass!!! There’s music from a speaker on the sand. There’s food on the table. The table’s got a white tablecloth on it! Bella is standing there with a white top and black skirt and an apron, and a white napkin over her arm!!!
There’s also a chilly bin beside the table with food in it!!
Then! That’s not all! There’s a young man with a violin who emerges from the darkness. I burst into tears. Honestly! “Oh Rex, sweetheart! This is just….just…” I can’t talk.
She’s sobbing. I get up and go around and take her hand and draw her close. I take her head in my hands. We dance, just slowly, cheek to cheek. We kiss. I wipe her eyes. She doesn’t stop crying for ages. I’m used to it now! Happens all the time.
“I love you Naomi”
“Oh Rex, I just love you too darling” (crying)
“You look absolutely divine!”
“I feel divine. Thank you.”
We just slowly dance for a few songs.
He has got all sorts of goodies! Pickled Pork! Spicy Beef! Bean salad. Thai green curry, olives, feta cheese, and more! All served by our waitress Bella! And the violin player is amazing!
Now, you can imagine what is happening?
There’s a crowd gathering! Honestly, about 30 people are standing around while we eat, and then… then.l…. as Rex gets me up to dance “No Rex, not in front of all these people!” I whisper… “Yes! In front of all these people Naomi!”
then… as we start to dance, some of them join in!!!
It’s quite dark now, and there is quite a crowd around us. Everyone is enjoying themselves!
We sit down eventually and they all clap!!! Rex does a mock bow (of course- always the showman)
Then poor Bella, who was looking a little ill, decides to throw up, just as she was leaning over me with the bubbly… (Shes had a couple of drinks with us, and she isn’t used to alcohol!)….all over me….. all over the front of my new dress, from my neck down!
“Sorry, sorry grandma!” She burst into tears. There’s silence.
“It’s alright sweetie! Are you okay? Why didn’t you say you were feeling sick?”
Rex jumps up and sits her down on his chair. Some people come over and offer towels. Bella is okay. Just looks a little pale, so Rex wants to take her home. She doesn’t want to go. “I’ll be fine Rex! Just give me a glass of water. I’m sorry!”
We fuss around her and she brightens up thank goodness… what would we tell mum and dad? Now she tells us that she wasn’t feeling good all day, but didn’t want to spoil Rex’s surprise, so kept it to herself.
“Grandma, you smell awful. You’ve got to get out of that dress straight away!”
Of course I had NOTHING else to wear! No knickers either! And I did stink!
“Maybe you just go for a dip in the sea?” Rex suggests helpfully.
So off we go into the gloom and he takes most of his clothes off, down to his underpants and tee shirt and gives them to Bella’s friend, the violin player!
It’s not easy in a long strapless dress trying to rinse off the vomit. Trouble is it’s right down my modest cleavage and dripping down my thighs and legs. Yuk!
Eventually Rex tells me to take it off completely. It is quite dark where we are, so I clamber out of it, feeling smelly and exposed all at once. He stand in front of me. We can just see the folk on the beach about 50 metres away.
“What will I put on Rex? The the violin player yells out “Bella’s given me her knickers for you Mrs Laws! I’ll bring them out” Those kids have great hearing!
“Thanks sweetheart but, no, you stay right there! Rex will come and grab them! Go on Rex, I’ll wait here”
Rex wades back to the beach and grabs Bella’s unmentionables (and believe me, they are!) and heads back. Then he disappears! I’m panicking a bit now. Why do I know this is going to end badly for me?!
Then I see him spluttering and trying to stand up! He’d fallen into a hole. Isn’t it lucky people have LED lights on their phones?!
Suddenly several phone flashlights are on and pointing directly at us both! OMG! Rex staggers and falls again. His knee has given way. Sooner he gets that operation the better!
“Give me a hand honey!”
“No way! I’m totally naked here Rex! Crawl if you have to! But HURRY!”
I sink down as low as I can into the water.
I hear people yelling “Are you all ok?”
Finally he hobbles up to me. The lights have all but been extinguished thank goodness!
He hand me his tee shirt which I shrug on. I’m getting cold now. Goose bumps on goose bumps.
Then he says…”You look so sexy darling! Let’s go for a midnight skinny dip?!”
“REX!!! Give me those knickers… is THIS them?”
They are like a piece of dental floss! I don’t think they’ll cover anything. I’m not even sure which is the front until I see the label!
I struggle into them, the waves almost push me over too. The front part slides up into my labia and the back, well… it’s only a thin piece of lycra that goes right into my crack. A G string! Bella!!! I must take her shopping for some real knickers! Lucky that Rex’s Tee shirt is almost like a mini dress!
We both wade out into the group. What a sight we are! Wet and bedraggled. shivering!
Then there’s a long round of applause! A couple of wolf whistles and “Well done”s. “That was fun!” and lots of laughter. Someone handed us both towels and standing there wrapped up in the towel, one of the men handed me a glass of bubbly!!!
“You’ve got a great figure I hope you don’t mind me saying ma’am!”
I shut him down with a withering look!
“I think it’s been viewed by a few too many people tonight! But thank you!…I think”
Some kind folk had packed up all the table, chairs and food etc., and taken it to the car. Rex decided to finish the night by scooping me up in his arms and carrying me to the car! Amid gales of laughter from those watching!
Then it was home.
Dress into soak.
Bella into shower and bed.
Rex and I into a hot bath.
Rex and I into bed… then we began to laugh! I laughed so hard I began to wet myself and had to rush to the loo!
“Come here you Mermaid” He said.
So I did….. and come she did!
And that was our Valentine’s Day.